14 February 2012

He loves me, he loves me not.

Yes, its that time of year again.

You either love it or loathe it.  For some it holds bitter sweet memories of past love affairs and for others, it comes with the thrill of a new love, new feelings.

When I was a little girl, the shops would fill with red hearts, plastic roses, teddy bears and chocolates.

 I always wanted to be someones valentine. No one in particular (until a certain age of course), I just wanted someone to surprise me!
I waited eagerly for the dreaded V day, only to be let down with a great, big THUD! Sure, love isn't easy and for me, it by hell wasn't going to get any easier.

I remember coming home one day, sad and totally discouraged that I hadn't got a valentines gift, therefore no-one loved me!
My dad went out and bought my sister and myself one of those plastic roses (that you found at CNA) that I Oh so wanted and which for me (at that time, I was about 9 years old) was the biggest valentines gesture ever. A red heart pillow and valentine chocolates.

For me, thats why dads are little girls heros. He made us feel special. He was and still is always present  and will always do whatever they can to make their children feel truly loved.
Even if it means buying them a bit of plastic and chocolate!

Later in life, I never really cared for Valentines day. But that is all to do with bad choices and how I always steered towards the bad boy when honestly all he does is treat you like crap.  All the heartache and things that went on during my final two years of high school  turned me into a cynical person. I didn't trust any guys and just kept an eye out for myself, after all, no one else was looking out for me.

Its then that I met Alex. He is the complete opposite of any one I'd ever dated. But behind my wall that I'd built, he was the kind of person I enjoyed being around.

He calmed me, he soothed me.

I drove him crazy (not in a good way).
But we (he) stuck it (me) out and in the end, I could just be myself.
I could be Stacey.
There were times when I felt I had to push him away because maybe I would get hurt. I was scared.

I was nasty.
I hurt him.
I hurt me.

Luckily, he knew me.
I didn't have to protect myself. He showed me that this would be fine. That we would be fine. That he wouldn't hurt me.

It was good.
He was good.

For our first valentines day together, he'd arranged and enormous vase of roses and a beautiful necklace.   We were living in Lesotho at the time, so this was no easy task and required a lot of thought and for me, a lot of love to actually take the time to do this for me. Sure we were young, crazy and in love but not everyone does this for their other half.  Not everyone takes the time to think about their other half's feelings.

After years pass, its easy for a relationship to lose its spark or its "je ne sais quoi!!"
Its easy to just take each others feelings and doings for granted. We need to acknowledge each other and the things we do.
Its not easy. Add to the equation kids, work and housework and you have a recipe for disaster if you don't take your partners feeling into consideration.

Yesterday, my little Olivia got a Valentine card from her best friend Kyle. She loves him something terrible. When I checked the post box yesterday and I saw his envelope, it warmed my heart. I knew it would warm hers!!!

Love yourself, don't be too hard on yourself and if any of you have a guy that just treats you like crap....move on. We are all worth it and shouldn't settle for someone who treats us like sh$t.

So tonight for dessert , I'm making Alex an apple croustade. No fuss and no chocolate.
Throughout the year we always turn to choco cakes as they are the absolute favourite of Olivia, Mathilde and myself. He rarely has a look in, so today, this is especially for him.

There's nothing more simple.
Puff pastry, a homemade apple compote (left a little chunky), sugar and an egg wash. Bake in preheated oven (220 degrees C) until golden, crispy and oozing sexiness!!

 
He came home with an enormous bunch of pick and mix flowers to make a bouquet 'tres rustique'. But after Mathildes coughing episode last night, they'll have to continue their sejour on our balcony.
  

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